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August Events

No let-up today for British manufacturers, there were large profit slumps for Securivadge and United Haha. Down 6.4, Joanny Collins perhaps units on a lower third rung. There was better news for Edgyledgywedgebarge, who mustered 2.41 up 88 very slightly [she smiles wryly for no reason], but Oxymacgee flew back a ninth, despite a creeping bid from Connected Breathdumps at four.

September Events

Starting in the southeast, where it'll be misty tomorrow with a droplet density of about 50,000 per spherical inch. That's rather as if the mist were hugging the ground like an over-affectionate and rather damp dog. Over to East Anglia and the Midlands, there'll be a warm day tomorrow, about 20, that's the sort of warmth you might feel on a January morning walking into a heated drawing room after chopping some wood. And finally, into the north of England and Scotland - a strong and highly long-lasting day tomorrow, with hail aimed down vertically from above, and there'll be a 30% chance. In summary then - breezes. And that's all the weather.

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